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If you reply to any of our correspondents by e-mail, don't forget to send a copy to postmaster@classicmotor.co.uk!

TYRED & EMOTIONAL

Dear CMM

As a subscriber to your magazine, I'm also a part-time author and one of my subjects of interest is that of period fashion and pin-up calendars. I have noticed in some of your editions, an advert by Longstone Tyres (it was on page 15 of January 2009 edition), which does look like part of a period pin-up picture.
Could you give me any further information on this picture?
Many thanks
W.A. Denson
Crawley, West Sussex
We contacted Dougal Cawley at Longstone and he told us: "I'm glad you liked my saucy advert. At Longstone Tyres we have the policy that we have to produce adverts so we are going to make it fun.
"I'm not 100% sure of the origin of the photograph. I got it off a post card that was picked up at a bricant in France. On the back of the card it says "Erotik & Automobile, ca 1925", the other one we did (pictured) I have no information about but I believe it is the same car (I think is a Citroen) and the same girl (that incidentally I fancy).
The first smutty advert we did I believe is a slightly later Citroen. I think it is a C4 which were made in 1928.
"I have heard lots of possibilities about these photographs and where they come from, I have also heard they are from a film which I would love to see! If any one has any more details I'd love to know more. The most recent one we have designed is a cartoon that somebody sent me, I think it is gorgeous."

MANY THANKS

Dear CMM

Only very recently a copy of CMM has been passed to me, and I write to thank you for your extemely flattering and kind words about my 1951 Fordson Scout Van (Commercial Break, CMM January 2009 issue, 238). Such praise is most encouraging!
The van was in reasonable order when I bought it in May 2002, and I have done a few jobs on it since then, but cannot take credit for its restoration.
One thing I should point out is that it was not used by a smallholder for taking his produce to market, but by a 'her', Mrs Alice May Wagstaff of Haynes, Beds., where the van will again return in June for the Haynes 100 event this summer. I have met members of the family and they are delighted, and astonished, that 'auntie's van' is still going strong!
Again, my thanks.
John P. Roberts
Stamford, Lincs.

DOVER & OUT...

Dear CMM

I hope you are all well.
May I add some thoughts re traffic lights? First I think most of them could be switched off at night. I used to travel a lot in the early hours, and I'd often have a good 2-hour run on the motorway only to come off up the exit ramp and meet the ubiquitous roundabout. What's more, a red traffic light would be staring at me. For several minutes, with no other traffic about. Frustrating. I don't even like traffic lights on roundabouts at the best of times.
Secondly, by their nature, traffic lights have a down time. Put one at crossroads and that's four queues of traffic all waiting while the lights 'change direction' and nobody's moving. This matters most at rush hour times, though not exclusively. The way to overcome this is to replace rush-hour traffic lights with a human being. A human being can reduce this down time to nigh on zero, with the result that traffic would flow faster. That could save wasting 100s of man-hours every day.
And finally...
So the estate agent's showing Spannerman round a house. They go into the kitchen and it's full of ignition leads. The lounge is full of coils, the dining room full of batteries. Upstairs, the bedrooms are full of spark plugs and distributors. 'Not much room in here with all these car parts about,' says Spannerman. 'No,' says the estate agent, 'that's because it's a starter home.’
Best wishes,
Melvyn Dover, via email:
MelDover@yahoo.co.uk
*Ouch Melvyn!

 

EMAIL SPAM SCAMS

(We are leaving this letter on this page as a warning to all readers...)

Dear CMM

I have just received two replies from my ad on your online service, both claim to be agents who will pay by "cashiers check" and arrange shipping, one reply is non specific and the other from west Africa! Do any readers have any experience of this type of reply, I am very wary as I am constantly receiving e-mail and letter scams from Nigeria and Eastern European countries making all sorts of ridiculous offers in an attempt to get your bank details, presumably with a view to emptying my bank account.
Yours
D. Cowell
*That's exactly what they intend to do; this is another email scam going the rounds of many sites on the web; they pick-up various email addresses, and intend to send you a fake cheque (as if you would let any goods go without seeing some hard cash). We seen several examples of the emails they send out. Pathetically, one started "Dear sir/madam - We are willing to buy the item(s) you are selling at full price..." Another seemed to offer a money laundering service offering $10,000 above the asking price (this email was sent to Helen in our admin dept!) 'to cover incidental costs etc.'
This is, verbatim, another email sent to CMM: "i'm very much interested in purchasing your advertised product tagged at[price].i'm an international dealer importer and exporter in varieties of goods,the payment is by certified america cashier check.if the payment term is pkay by you,kindly email me your full name,address and phone number to proceed with payment right away.as regard the shipping,i have a reputables international shipping companies that ship my consignments.he will be coming for the pick up as soon as the payment is concluded.i will like to know the present condition of the product in order to speed things up as soon as the payment is made.so if you're okay by this,kindly get back to me in time." In this case, the software this snake was using failed to spot a price (We didn't advertise anything) and so didn't slot it in his letter.
You can spot these fakers a mile away - just use your common sense!
We'll leave this letter on our on-line site as a word of warning to others!

TYRE DANGER?

Dear CMM

I found the article about old tyres being dangerous in Michael Ware's column disturbing (CMM Issue 241, April 2009).
The possibility had never occured to me, nor I expect many others.
Could you publish a list of tyre date codes and what they mean? I have Dunlop tyres fitted to my classic and I can see nothing on them indicating how old they are.
Yours
G. Barrett
Totton, Southampton
Michael replies - I contacted Chris  Marchant, the MD of Vintage Tyre Supplies, and he very kindly told me:
“Date codes are a bit of a minefield I’m afraid. You’re quite right in guessing that not all manufactures had the same system in the past, in fact the further back you go the more complicated it becomes, and some didn’t bother at all. However below is a brief summary which may help, all the digits should be moulded onto one side of the tyre and will be about 25mm long.
“Up to mid 80’s - Dunlop and several other manufacturers used a 2 letter and 1 number system per month, for example XS 8 meant December 1978, the tables are endless and were eventually repeated,  we have tables going back to the mid 1930’s but I don’t think its worth publishing them as tyres of that age are thankfully rare!
“Mid 1980’s-1990 - Some manufacturers began to introduce a 3 digit system, week number and the last letter of the year, i.e. 217 means week 21 of 1987.  This idea of course could only work for a decade.
“1990-2000 - Many manufacturers (but far from all) used the  3 digit system, week number and the last letter of the year but followed it by a small triangle, for example 219< means week 21 of 1999
“2000 onwards - Just about all manufacturers adopted a four digit system from this date, first two letters are the week number, and last two letters are the year, i.e., 2108, means the tyres were made in week 21 (19th May-24th May) of 2008, nice and simple, easy to read quite obvious really!
“Hope this helps, but if you get specific enquiries let me know and I’ll try and help further.”

A1 VIP

Dear CMM

Mention of the registration 'A1' in Michael Ware's column in the March copy of CMM (Issue 240), reminds me of the time I drove behind this prestigious and highly visible plate.
My employers, Dunlop, inherited the registration when they took over some company or other (I can't remember which), and as no-one could think what to do with it, it was assigned to the Test Fleet garage.
They quickly realised that A1 was no asset at all when the local police rang up, pointing out that there were two A1 cars in the local high street at that very moment; and would Dunlop please make up their minds as to which one was legal and to stop using the other one!
It turned out that the plate was in the process of being transferred from a Rover to a Princess, so two cars in the garage carried the only too prominent registration. A driver had taken the Rover to do a bit of unauthorised shopping, for which he received a severe wigging.
Came the day when I was given the job somewhere 'down south'. The company rule was that a works car had to be used wherever possible, and so I contacted the garage and the only car they could find for me was the A1 Princess.
I quickly realised why our test drivers hated that car. Wherever I went cars would cruise alongside to allow the occupants to subject me to close scrutiny. Then they would drop back and an animated discussion could be seen in the rear view mirror, people trying to decide just who was this important personage in front? A member of the Royal Family perhaps, or a high-ranking government official? Maybe just a member of the aristocracy?
On return, I vowed that if it ever fell to my lot to drive that goldfish bowl of a car again, I would have to put a sign in the window:
"I'm nobody important, I've just been lumbered with this bloody Dunlop test car!"
Thankfully however, I never had the 'pleasure' again.
Where the plate went eventually, I don't know, but I do know it went on it's way accompanied by a hearty sigh of relief from our test fleet drivers!
Happy days.
Yours
Rex Grogan
Acocks Green, Birmingham
*Many thanks for that Rex; fascinating stuff.

GARSTANG

Dear CMM

It was a great day at the Garstang Autojumble on Sunday (March 15), the lovely spring weather was kind to everyone, 'Jumblers and stallholders alike, so no stalls toppled over!
There was a large turnout of traders and 'jumblers, as well as a large variety of motorcycles; they always add interest to a display.
If you could not find what you wanted there, you need to get out more!
Yours
Jim Littler
Hindley Green, Wigan.

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MYTH OF THE MONTH

Dear CMM

Ref: March 'Myth of The Month' (Spannerman, CMM Issue 240). A simple method to use to determine which is more environmentally friendly, either a new car taken off a stockpile or one already on the road, is by 'life cycle costing'.
It does what it says on the tin; it is the cost per year (or any period of time) over its life cycle. A new car smashed at one year old has a life cycle cost of say (new car £8,000, £3,000 running costs for one year) £11,000 divided by one year of life.
Same car but for five years life; £8,000, plus say £12,000 running costs, equals £20,000 divided by five years which is £4,000.
The 'new' car has a life cycle cost of £11,000 as compared to the car with a five year life which is £4,000.
The numbers have not got to be exact and you can make them up as a 'guesstimate'. It is also affected, obviously, by what is added into the sums and what is left out, but basically the longer it runs on the road, the cheaper the life cycle costing is going to be. The answer to the myth is a resounding YES!
With regards as to what to add in and what to leave out in life cycle costing, the questions should be considered as how 'green' is the money that I save, beg, borrow or steal to purchase the car the manufacturers stockpile? How green is the manufacture of the car itself, it's use of fuel and the maintenance?
Just where DO you draw the line, has some impact on the costing outcome.
The information obtained is never going to be accurate as such, and the best that can be done is to give some degree of 'weighting' of some monitory value to cover these types of ponderables.
Conclusion; if it can still run on the road with a degree of effort to get an MoT, then it is greener than crushing it and buying a new car (whatever that may entail).
Thanks
H.W. Barnes
Salford, Manchester

If you reply to any of our correspondents by e-mail, don't forget to send a copy to postmaster@classicmotor.co.uk!

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